Got Mommy Guilt? How to Release It

Today’s society has led us to believe that we should have it all, right?  We should have that great career, raise perfect kids, exercise daily, keep a super clean house, entertain and prepare dinner seven days a week.  That makes me tired just typing it all out! The thing we have to remember is that all of that takes time – and we each have the same amount of time in every day.  That amount of time just isn’t enough to do all that.  Add it up if you don’t believe me: Work – 8 hours Exercise – 1 hour Clean the house – 1 hour Entertain – 1 hour Fix dinner – 1 hour Kid time – 24 hours! And I didn’t even include all the other things we do – drive kids to practice, social obligations, leisure time,   time with our spouse, etc. Face it; it’s NOT possible to do everything at once.  However, it IS possible to do it all – just not at the same time and not every day. What you need to do is let go of what you see on social media (let’s face it, most people are posting the BEST of their life – we aren’t seeing the mess behind the photo), let go of judgement from others (and judgement from yourself) and decide what is most important to you right now in your life.  THIS is what you need to concentrate on first, and then don’t worry too much about the rest – in fact, if you can farm it out or let it go. At the end of the...

5 Ways to Help with Anxiety

Feeling anxious?  I run into this a lot with my coaching clients.  With the crazy, busy lifestyles we all live these days, it’s not surprising.  When you have 5 places to be between 4:00 and 8:00, not to mention dinner, homework, etc. how can you not feel anxious?  Next time you feel that tightness in your chest or the beginning of panic in your mind, give a few of these ideas a try: Slow down.  When you are anxious, your heart rate speeds up along with your breathing.  So stop for a minute or two and take 3 to 5 long, deep and slow breaths.  If possible, close your eyes.  This small pause is sometimes enough for you to catch your breath and get yourself back on track. Define what you are anxious about.  Is it true?  Are you worrying about something that just “might” happen or “might” be true?  Is it something you can’t change?  Then maybe it’s time to let it go.  A simple example (I know you might be worrying about something much bigger, but often it’s these small things that push us over the edge):  you are going to be late to an appointment because you’ve been rushing around all afternoon or are over scheduled.  Is there anything you can do to be on time?  If not, call ahead and let whomever you are meeting know and then cover up your clock.  You are going to be late regardless so quit focusing on how late you are and just get to where you need to go safely. Distraction.  Break the cycle if you can by reading...

Do you need a new vantage point?

Recently I was reading an issue of Southern Living magazine, and I came across an article with some advice for landscaping.  There was a paragraph in this article about providing different vantage points in yard.  In other words, finding small spots in your yard to enjoy a different view or to invoke a different feeling. For some reason, that idea of a different vantage point got stuck in my brain.  I started to think about how we could and should often have different vantage points for our lives. Think about that for a second. How fabulous would it be to be able to view any aspect of your life differently?  Especially areas that trouble or stress you out.  Guess what?  You can totally do this. Let me give you an example: First Vantage Point:  “My evenings are crazy!  I’m so busy hauling kids around to their practices that I don’t have time to get ANYTHING else done.  Forget healthy dinners, exercise and a clean house – I spend all my time in the car and when we finally get home all I want to do is veg and then go to sleep!” Alternate Vantage Point:  “Wow, I am so lucky to have a flexible job that allows my kids to participate in sports they love.  And I can accomplish a lot of work, exercise or just relax with a book while they are doing their thing!” See that twist?  Same situation – different vantage point.  I know which one I want to see.  By coming at the situation from the second viewpoint, you’ll create a positive vibe and a...
Empowered Kids Vs. Entitled Kids

Empowered Kids Vs. Entitled Kids

Last year, I read a book that really got me thinking about how I’m raising my kids (The Me, Me, Me Epidemic: A Step-by-Step Guide to  Raising Capable, Grateful Kids in an Over-Entitled World).  I’ve mentioned it before as I think it’s a fabulous resource for anyone who is looking to intentionally raise their children.  Will I follow everything in the book? – nope, not even close.  However I do think a lot of it is worthwhile and even more important it got me thinking about what I want for MY kids and what I feel is important for them to learn and believe. There are so many things that I do automatically for my children because it’s easier, quicker or I’ve just always done it.  Things that they are absolutely capable of doing for themselves and for the family.  But they don’t – either because they know I’ll do it or (and here was the lightbulb moment for me) because they don’t know how.  No one (meaning me) ever taught them.   After giving it quite a bit of thought, I decided that in 2016 we would embark upon a  year of life-skills learning. What exactly do I mean by that?  Basically I want them to learn how to do the things that every capable person needs to know how to do.  Things like laundry, cooking, cleaning, managing finances, being a good friend, practicing hospitality, etc.   Will they be required to do all of these all the time?  No, definitely not. (Well yes to being a good friend!)  As the year progresses, we will come up with a...

Core Desire – Connection

Earlier in the year, I gave you a sneak peek into my core desired feelings for 2016.  These are the feelings I based my 2016 goals upon (thanks to Danielle LaPorte’s awesome book The Desire Map: A Guide to Creating Goals with Soul.  Throughout the year I plan on doing a blog post on each of these core feelings, why I chose them and why I think they are important – not just for me, but for everyone to consider. Enter Connection. Of all the desired feelings I came up with, this was probably the one I felt the most excited about.  If I was going to pick one word for the year (like many of you do), it would be this one. Why Connection? Well maybe the first question, is what does connection mean?  Connection is defined as a circle of friends or associates or a member of such a circle; association; relationship; a relationship or association. So when I think about that definition, what comes to mind to me is having strong and meaningful relationships with other people.  Specifically for me, those relationships include my spouse, kids, family and friends.  In addition, I don’t want to let my everyday encounters with people in my life be superficial or meaningless.   I believe that taking the time to look someone in the eye and engage with them adds so much joy and happiness to life. Interestingly enough, this topic has been coming up again and again in my life – in sermons at church, in discussions with friends, in books I’ve been reading.  Enough places that I am coming...

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